Birth Stories
It's time to share them. I'll go first.
I had dinner with 4 close mom friends last week. I’ve known these women for almost 10 years and our girls are the very best of friends. Somehow we ended up sharing birth stories. I learned over this one dinner (thanks, V!) how they collectively endured a double epidural, four c-sections, a misplaced placenta, two miscarriages and a few adventures in IVF.
I walked away thinking- How have we not talked about this sooner?
How did I not know that 2 of our daughters were born in the same hospital, by the same doctor, just weeks apart?
That you were in a coffee shop 3 hours after giving birth, but in the ER 2 weeks later?
That your epidural wore off and you had to endure a second?
I did not know any of the above because moms/ladies, we just don’t talk enough. At least not about the real things.
It’s time to talk birth stories.
Mine was pretty boring as far as birth stories go. But I can’t expect you to share if I don’t first, so here goes.
It was three weeks before my due date when the contractions started. Timing was not good. I was hosting an event in NYC that night! I had told the brand not to book my giant, pregnant self so late in the game, but they did, those amazing ladies, and they didn’t even mind when I had to cancel last minute. The contractions weren’t Braxton Hicks, as I assumed as a first time pregnant woman, they were real. A good friend of mine, who had just given birth a few weeks earlier, gave me great advice: don’t rush to the hospital, it takes a long time and you’re better off at home for as long as you can.
I slept that night, or at least stayed in bed, getting kicked, contorted and contracted. The next morning we went to the hospital pretty leisurely only to find out it actually was the real deal and that the baby was coming.
Did I mention it was three weeks early?
God bless that labor and delivery nurse. I still can’t remember her name although she was the most important person in my world for the next 12 hours. While the doctor (male) was taking his time, she was like, “listen, I’ve had 5 babies, we’re doing this today!'“. She moved me along, gave me the epidural when I needed it and helped the baby come at 5pm.
Delivery was SO hard, there’s really no explaining the depth of fear, terror and pain, but looking back it happened ‘smoothly’ as they say. I was ok, she was ok, her dad not so much ok, but he survived as well.
There were moments I look back at more carefully and wonder how/why they happened.
Why did they give my baby formula before even asking if I wanted to try breastfeeding?
Why was the baby turning purple when we looked in on her and why did her dad have to scream to get help to clear her airway?
Why did it take until the next morning for a lactation consultant to see me and offer advice?
Why are you sending me home with a newborn just 16 hours later when I know nothing about raising a baby?
Well they did, and we learned and she was amazing.
My birth story wasn’t tragic, thank god. My birth story wasn’t even eventful, at least not to anyone other than the three of us. But I know every single story is different. Each one is amazing. Each one needs to be shared.
Until we all share our birth stories, the next group of moms will not know what to expect, what to plan for, and what to be grateful for. They won’t know the intricacies, the tragedies, and the novelties of giving birth.
I told you mine, now let’s share yours.